The Holy Spirit gave me this song, in September 2004, whilst I was meditating on:

Jeremiah 31: 35-37

“Thus says the Lord,
He who gives the sun to light the day,
Moon and stars to light the night;
Who stirs up the sea till its waves roar,
Whose name is Lord of hosts.”

Jeremiah 33: 3

“Call to Me, and I will answer you”

Psalm 141

“Lord, I call to You…”

Psalm 142

“With full voice I cry to the Lord,
With full voice I beseech the Lord.”

These words came at a time whilst I was doing my postgraduate studies, and at the time I was concerned about my dissertation, putting a CD together for the Lord, and relationships with family, friends etc. I was quite anxious about one relationship in particular with someone that I liked. Our Lord revealed to me that He would provide and protect me, and that I must wait patiently and put my trust in Him – God knows what is best for us, and He knows who is best for each of us.

The Lord gave me this song in April 2004, at a time when I was striving to live a Christian life and live in the world at the same time. God’s definition of love and the world’s definition of modern-day love were completely different, and I realised that I had to make a choice to choose the Lord’s way or to choose the world’s. I couldn’t choose both! It’s hard to do so when the world has a grip on you, but all is possible with the Lord, if you ask for His grace!

At the time our Lord gave me this song (October 2003), my life was very busy and I felt that I was rushing around constantly. I was working, doing my post-graduate studies, activities at my church; I was worried about my relationships – I wasn’t getting to see my friends as often as I wanted to because of my workload; and I was unhappy with my job and travelling three hours every day to work and back. I knew that I didn’t want a job in Nutrition and that I wanted to have time to sing and write songs.

This song was a call to our Lord for help. The Lord revealed to me that I needed to place everything - including myself - into His hands and that I had to put all of my trust in Him. To do this I needed to be still before Him, and by being still before Him, I would also be able to listen to Him and hear His plan for me. God wanted me to be like Mary not Martha (Luke 10:38-42). “Martha had a sister named Mary who sat beside the Lord at His feet listening to Him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to Jesus and said ‘Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.’ The Lord said to her in reply ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.’ ”

This song came from the Holy Spirit to me, in November 2004, whilst I was driving to my piano teacher’s house. When I go to my teacher’s house, I sang this song and recorded it onto my mobile phone. I did not really understand the words, and I thought that they were a bit self-righteous “Look into my heart, and you will see the beauty of my risen Lord”. But a couple of days later I understood why the Lord had given me this song.

Exactly two days later a Christian friend asked me why I prayed to Mary. When I tried to explain why, he didn’t understand. And then I spoke to another Christian friend - who I thought had come to understand my Catholic beliefs – about my initial conversation, but she agreed with my other friend.

By giving me this song, the Lord had prepared me for the discussions that I had with those two friends. At this time I didn’t have any (practising) Catholic friends, so I felt quite alone, and I didn’t have anyone to discuss this with. They were two of my closest friends who did not understand a part of who I am, and that was hard for me to accept. I had grown up with Mary being like a mother to me, since I was a child. And for my friends not to accept Mary, it felt like they were not accepting me. And there was nothing that I could do about this except place the matter into the Lord’s hands.

I could have read information in books and on the internet to come to a decision based on facts or who argues their view-point better, but I didn’t have to, because the Lord had placed His truth in my heart, and that’s all I needed to know at that stage. Christ lives in my heart, and all I want to do is follow Him and become more like Him. And Mary helps me to do this. My Catholic faith helps me to follow Christ. Our Lord placed me into a Catholic church and that is where He wants me to be. This is where our Lord first taught me to know Him and to love Him.

I love my Catholic faith, and I also love my Christian friends - I am very grateful to them for teaching me how to pray to the Lord from the heart out loud, how to praise God through worship music and for helping me to develop my gifts from the Holy Spirit!

(A couple of years later I learnt of the Sion Community in Brentwood and I attended the Discipleship Training School there one summer, where I studied Catholic Apologetics. This helped to deepen my understanding of my faith and also taught me how to defend my Catholic faith based on scripture and tradition. Also information on the Catholic faith can be found in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.)

Scriptures that I was meditating on around the time of receiving this song are:

Isaiah 48:6 “From now on I will tell you new things, even hidden things you have not known before”

Isaiah 49:

Isaiah 49:4 “Yet I can trust the Lord to defend my cause”

Isaiah 49:6 “I will make you a light to the nations”

Isaiah 49:8 “I will guard and protect you and through you make a covenant”

Isaiah 49:26 “Then all mankind shall know that I, the Lord, am your Saviour, your Redeemer, the Mighty One of Jacob”

Proverbs 3: 5-10 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and He will show you the right way.

John 8: 32 “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free”

Romans 10: 8-13 ‘ “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart”, for if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For one believes with the heart and so is justified, and one confesses with the mouth and so is saved. For the scripture says, “No one who believes in Him will be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; the same Lord is Lord of all, enriching all who call upon Him. For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” ’

I believe that the Lord wants unity amongst Christians. Just a thought… if we as Christians, judge our Christian brothers and sisters who are not exactly the same as us, is that building up the Kingdom of God?

“Therefore I, the prisoner of Christ, invite you to live the vocation you have received. Be humble, kind, patient, and bear with one another in love. Make every effort to keep among you the unity of Spirit through bonds of peace. Let there be one body and one spirit, for God, in calling you, gave the same Spirit to all. One Lord, one faith, one baptism. One God, the Father of all, who is above all and works through all and is in all” (Ephesians 4: 1-6).

“This is how all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13: 35).

“Love one another with mutual affection; anticipate one another in showing honour” (Romans 12: 10)

“I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. These also I must lead, and they will hear my voice, and there will be one flock, one shepherd” (John 10: 16)

“Avoid giving offence, whether to Jews or Greeks or the Church of God” (1 Corinthians 10: 32)

1 John 3: 11-24; 1 John 4: 1-21

Ezekiel 37: 15-28

We need to ‘Fast from Criticism’ and make a ‘Commitment to Stop Criticising Others’ (Pat Collins CM; Gifted and Sent, 2009). The following is taken from Pat Collins’ book, Gifted and Sent: “Although ‘grace’ is always freely available to us, we only experience its liberating power in so far as we put aside the scales of justice by refraining from judging, condemning, or resenting other people while offering them the gift of our merciful love.”

“If I speak in human and angelic tongues, but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing. For we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things. At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully as I am fully known. So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13)

“It is only love that can expand my heart” (St Thérèse)

The Lord gave me this song on the 8th of April 2004, which is the anniversary of my Baptism! On that day I was unwell with a cold, so I was resting at home. Usually when I get a cold, it’s our Lord’s way of telling me to slow down and rest in Him. At the time I was worrying about a lot of things, like work, relationships etc.

I had watched ‘The Passion of Christ’ the day before and whilst reflecting on it, I thought about the pain that Jesus went through in His Passion and on the Cross, and I realised my pain was nothing compared to the pain that He had experienced. Pain that was not only physical but also emotional, and included the anguish of one of His friend’s betraying Him and another friend denying Him three times. Jesus’ mother Mary was present at His Passion and it must have hurt His heart too, to see hers breaking while she watched her Son die.

But after Jesus went through all of that suffering which led to His death on Good Friday, He rose from the dead three days later on Easter Sunday. From this God helped me to realise that I was worrying unnecessarily. I may have been hurting at the time, but I had to hope in the Lord. I had to believe that my Easter Sunday would come. I prayed to Him and said,

“Lord, I place all of my trust in You. Please don’t let me lose hope!”

And then I had to thank the Lord for all of His goodness to me. We need to thank the Lord for what He has promised us, even though we may not have received it as yet. We need to trust in Him that He will keep His promises to us, because He is God! Mary trusted in the Lord and she trusted in His promise to her. She said “I am the handmaid of the Lord, let it be done to me as you have said” (Luke 1: 38). And then she rejoiced in the Lord and His promises to her,

“My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, my spirit exults in God my Saviour! He has looked upon His servant in her lowliness, and people forever will call me blessed. The Mighty One has done great things for me, Holy is His Name! From age to age His mercy extends to those who live in His presence…” (Luke 1: 46-55)

Our Lord revealed to me that He has put me here for a purpose and that I must believe in Him and His working in me, so that I can carry out His will. God also helped me to realise that I need to spend more time getting to know Him. Do we know of God or do we know Him? Ask God to open up your heart to Him so that you may come to know Him more and to love Him more. Pray to Him, meditate on His Word, receive the Sacraments regularly, be still before Him, acknowledge His presence and listen to His voice (John 10:3-5; John 10: 27). God has put you here for a purpose too! And you must believe in Him and His working through you, so that you can carry out His will. Each of us has a part to play in building up the Kingdom of God, for which we should give Him glory.

“I assure you that God is much better than you believe. He is content with a glance, a sigh of love” (St Thérèse).

One look of love to the Lord is enough to restore you and bring you His peace.

“Lord You formed my inmost being; You knit me in my mother’s womb. I praise You, so wonderfully You made me; wonderful are your works! My very self You knew; my bones were not hidden from You, when I was being made in secret, fashioned as in the depths of the earth. Your eyes foresaw my actions; in Your book all are written down; my days were shaped, before one came to be…Probe me, God, know my heart, try me, know my concerns. See if my way is crooked, then lead me in the ancient paths.”(Psalm 139: 13-16; 23-24)

Ask God to show you, your purpose. Our Lord is always waiting for us to turn to Him and to talk to Him. Pray to Him and then listen to Him. He wants a relationship with each of us. Spend time with the Lord, He is waiting for you.

“To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. In You my God I trust; let me not be put to shame, let not my enemies exult over me. No one is disgraced who waits for You…Make known to me Your ways, Lord; teach me Your paths. Guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Saviour. For You I wait all the long day, because of Your goodness, Lord. Remember Your compassion and love, O Lord; for they are ages old. Remember no more the sins of my youth; remember me only in the light of Your love.” (Psalm 25: 1-7)